Awkward in between...

Hi!!!! I'm Sarang Choo

Dah lama tak update blog. Selalunya I will write in English but this time in Malay pulak. Eyh! nampak tak dah rojak dekat situ. Rojak pun bole juga kan? My blog biarlah! hahaha!! Bukan ape, dah lama tak tulis blog bahasa melayu. Biar pun kita nye tatabahasa atau ejaan salah yang pasti ramai yang akan paham. 

Awkward in between? Tajuk tuh sendiri pun dah awkward. Lately I terasa awkwardnya between family members. Sudah lah dengan sepupu and saudara semua dah berpecah takkan dalam family members sendiri nak rasa awkward kan?  Tapi tulah yang sebenarnya. Bila I duduk dekat living room and dengar orang lain bercerita I macam lost sebab tak pasti cerita apa tuh. Paling I terasa awkward bila keluar dengan my mom. Padahal dulu selalu jek I lah peneman ibu bila nak beli barang atau amik or anta adik balik ke uitm. Sekarang entah mase bile my mom anta, amik or tidur sana pun I tak penah taw. Kadang - kadang,  turun bawah jek tahu tahu memang dah tak da org kat bawah. Keluar pun tak bagitahu. Dulu bole jek keluar bagitahu tp sekarang nape tak bole? Soalan ni penah dituju to mu uncles and aunts from my mom and sekarang soalan ni juga I tuju to my mom. Bila jadi begini I rasa bukan my uncles or aunts yang salah, I think my mom yang terlalu fikir bukan bukan. Mungkin partially my uncles and aunts ada salah mereka but if my mom sendiri tak nak mengalah katakan dia ada salah selamanya pun mungkin begitu. I do miss hanging out or meeting out with them. Raya was never like Raya anymore after the quarrel. 

I even penah tweet saying that I only have my 2nd sister and the youngest because I only know what is happening around them. My 2nd sister and the youngest are in my circle cause they also sometimes or maybe most of them kena ignore juga. Like one day, they came home and pack while she was actually at the living room. Until she asked my 2nd youngest sister what's going on. Then only she knew that they will not be home for the weekend. At least she should be inform cause she was there in front of them. Once, I went out without telling my mom even though she was there. My mom keep on asking with whom am I going out and where but I just said with friends. But she felt like I'm hiding something, well mom you did that too. If you don't me to do it then you should tell me where are you going too. I called my circle Orang yang ada duit! hahahaahaha!! Maybe it;s just me atau memang my mom feel yang bila kami dah ada duit dia rasa kita tak perlukan dia. No, it's not right. Like I said, my mom jek yang fikir yang bukan bukan. Dulu mungkin I be blunt and main cakap sekarang macam dah malas nak cakap sebab kalo cakap pun dia takkan nak perasan juga. So biarkan jek la. One day kalo die perlukan pertolongan Insya'allah I akan tolong. 

Anyway, pada sesiapa yang membaca (kalo ada la kan) don't judge apa apa sebab you hanya baca apa yang I nampak or rasa tapi kita tak pasti sebelah lagi pihak. Ini hanya luahan hati I yang tetiba I rasa nak luah. hahahaha!! Puasa tinggal lagi a few months jek, rasa tak sabar pulak bulan ramadhan nak datang. Kalau ada yang tanya tahun ni tak pergi korea lagi ke? Ye I akan pergi pada musim autumn pulak. Ini adalah kali ketiga. Mungkin tahun depan inya'allah I will change my destination. 

Wishing everyone Selamat Maju Jaya and Have a nice day ....