myTunes

Friday, April 15, 2016

34 days since he left.

It has been 34 days since he went to camp. At first, I never thought I will end up like this. Like this like how? Missing him too much, going crazy staying at home or crying over funny video.
That's when I realize I love him so much. Between that 34 days, we even set date to engage. I never thought about engagement or wedding. But him, he able to open my heart on marriage and making me all flutter when he said about getting engage. At first I was skeptical. Been hearing about getting married from his mouth since day 1 I couple with him. This time he said, it's serious. He asked to me to discuss with my mom and so does he too with his mom. 3 days later he called and asked. Well, my mom been joking about it way before he ask me so it doesn't even surprise her anymore. I've set the date! 8 months from now, I'll be someone fiancee. Engagement = $$$$$ = headache

I suddenly thought of writing ~

34 days since he left... I realized where my heart stands
34 days since he left... I realized I have fall in love with him
34 days since he left... I realized what missing is like
34 days since he left... I realized what loves mean
34 days since he left... I realized what true longing is
34 days since he left... I realized why love can makes us go crazy
34 days since he left... I realized I need him more than before
34 days since he left... I agreed to engage with him....


Sunday, March 13, 2016

Day 1 - I let him go..

13.03.2016, Sunday - 12.05 pm, it was the last called. I wake up early as he promised to call and update me before he enter. He keep saying 6 months is one short term to me but that word was actually to comfort himself. He called and remind me about how he will be missing me. He also said that all the things the he brought was the one that I shop with him. He put our ring in his wallet so that he will carry it all the time even under the sun. My letter and pictures are all in the bag. Then he said, "Please take care of yourself. Don't ever skip on meal. Take care of Ibu, En. Bear and his laptop.  I will return in 6 months. Once I have permission to call, I'd give you a call. Please don't cry. Be strong. Umi gave you an advice to be strong. If you want to be an police officer wife you have to learn to be strong. Dont' worry Umi will tag you in any of my pictures. I love you. And where's my kiss?" that was our last conversation.

**typing this makes me crying but when he said it to me on phone I just smile and nodded**

During the last few days we spend together, we talked about out first met. Reminiscing how it all started, when does this love exists and grow and our like & dislike. What is our plans and future will be like. Promises were made between us and words that we aren't able to say were all said within that night. He even admit on not ready to let me go. He said I was his strength and now to let me go is far from ready. If I collapse so does he, therefore he asked me to be strong and willingly let him go. I asked him where is the guy that was so passionate and eager when he got accepted into the academy. Where is the guy that so happy sharing all the activities that he will be doing in the academy. Where is the guy that so upset when the registering date had to be postponed. I asked him again, where? If you have lost your passionate, eager and happy how am I supposed to let you go. I'm always here and will wait for you. You need to prove it to everyone and it's for our future too. Don't you remember you want me to be proud of you becoming a police officer? I want you to be my man. I promise again on what I said before. I try for our relationship.

I really thank Allah for giving us chances to spend more time together. If the date was not postponed I don't think I will be able to feel this deep love and yearning for him. Because of him, I able to open my heart to move on to the next level in relationship. For that I thank him. The thoughts of me getting married never occur in my mind but now I think I'm ready. Thank you sayang for making me feel really special. Thank you sayang for accepting who I am and what I am. Thank you for loving me like there's no tomorrow. Thank you for pampering me a lot. There is to many to thank and I can't even write it all out.

Sayang, you know how I like to jokes when you ask if I love you or not. You don't know how big this love has grow. I'm afraid to admit that I love you so much. I'm afraid of saying it because I might lose you. I fear of the upcoming hurt and scar that might not even exists. Believing in your words is what I really true wants but I need to realize that the reality might hit me hard. Even when I write this post I'm in tears. Not knowing your well being for the next 6 months is a torture for me. I know I gave you my word that I'll be strong. It's okay to cry right? Hoping everything will go smooth, I wish you all the best. I will wait for you.

Love you a lot,
Layna.

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Preparing for another 16 days

16 days. I have 16 days to spent time with him. Will I be able to let him go?

Everyday, every day we meet and spend time together. At first, he was supposed to leave in January but maybe Angel of Love is on our side, the training has been postponed in March.

I know him for 2 weeks before we start couple. Trying out just for fun end up we take it serious. Thanks to the postponed, I got to know him a little..no wait.. a lot better actually. Alhamdulillah, our chemistry is good.

In this almost 3 months relationship, I already fall in love with him deeply. He really open my heart to get married with his plans and what he wants us to be like. So that's when I decided to accept his plans. I still remember he used to say if I can wait for him till he turns 30. Then later, it change to 27 and this time 25. I decided to give a 3 years time frame for me to save up money and for him to built up his career & financial.

Plus Angel of Love is on our side again because his training ends in early that the usual. This is the first time I felt everything went smoothly. I've met his family on the way to Raub and yet his mother already announce to everyone about daughter-in-law. I'm glad that their family accept the fact that I'm older that him (more than 5 years) and his father encourage him to married first. He said his mother been telling people about me. I take it as a blessing to our relationship. I know my side has no problem.

So I have 16 days left to spend time with him. Thankfully that I didn't have to send him at the camp base. It will be disaster I think. Flood, tsunami, storm or all the hazardous will be arrive at the same time. hahahaaa..

I do wonder how will I be in 6 months? How am I? What will I do? Time will answer it all.

XOXO,
Layna.


Tuesday, February 16, 2016

2016 brings new smile


                                    

2016!!!!!

Another year has passed and 2015 didn't received anything new, Anyway, life goes on and here I am. This year I start my year with a big fat smile. Who gonna thought that love find it ways through me. 
I never thought I will fall in love again. Because the truth was I lost my faith and I felt tired of it. End up pushing every little chances away. But him? He came without even me knowing. He was just an attraction for my boring life. 


I first met him when I accompanied my sister. Second was on my eldest sister birthday party at karaoke. After the party, he gave me a ride to the venue for supper. That place where all of this started. With just a simple snobbish sentence me and him are side by side. We had nothing much in common and we lovingly joking a lot. Showing who's better at flirting and cheesy words. Then look now! We date for real.

This time it's different. I braze myself and confess. Asking our real feelings and status. I can say changes in my attitude a lot and taking things a different way. Maybe we compliment each other? who knows right?

Every happiness must have some torn along the way. I never quarrel with him or anything it's just that people surrounding us. I guess that is what I have to deal for if I want him right?

Anyway I hope 2016 is a new journey for me and maybe lead to a different destination too. As he said hoping me to to be his last and till forever, I secretly hope that too. I'm taking it seriously this relationship. No more flirting others for me. I'm praying that he is the one and will be my last one too.

A letter to me:-

Dear Layna,

You turn 29th now. You even find a new love in the very beginning of the year. It's rare. Remember that! Remember how your heart slowly opens and accept the love. Remember how your heart melt the way he treats you. Remember how your love blooms so fast. Don't mess up this time. Don't let go even if you have too. Chin up and suck it up! You have to be strong. Go through any hardship as a mature thinker. Don't ever fall into satan trap of emotions. Close your eyes, remember the love that you built and remind yourself to be happy is not easy. Take care of your health. Love yourself.

                                                                                                    Love, Layna.





Thursday, November 12, 2015

Short Vacation

My last vacation was in April and 6 months later I got another short trip. Even though it was short, it was fun. My mom ex-office mate invited my mom to join their department Family Day.

31st October, Saturday

We were been told that to prepare a meal for potluck. I decided to cooked Fried Macaroni. Knowing that most of people will bring Nasi Lemak, Fried Noodles and same old normal brunch. Then mom thought of preparing Bibimbap too. We woke up quite early than usual to prepare all those ingredient.
Arrived at the designation place around 11am and straight serving the food. I prepared the bibimbap too and what a surprise when they all like it. I heard some said "By eating this feels like in Korea"..  hahaha it's not to that par yet. After eating and sun tanning, we went to the hotel and check in.


Stayed at Grand Lexus baby~!! Executive Villa Pool located at the garden wing.



Executive Villa Pool has 2 queen size bed and SWIMMING POOL! We got that room for RM550. I'm not so sure what is the real price because that is the price the organizer told us. What I like about the room is the space. It also equip a small kitchenette such as microwave, minibar and kettle.
I have this habit whenever I check in a hotel that is checking out every inch of every room whether the housekeeper clean it thoroughly and test every switch to see if it is functioning. But before all that, I must check out their toilet. I find toilet is the most important place for me. I love sitting in the toilet for hours.

Dinner time!! It was raining heavily in Port Dickson. We have to drove all the way to Teluk Kemang area. I don't really intend to promote the restaurant because I felt like I can find a better restaurant. We went there for our dinner but it doesn't satisfied my palate. So I drop by next door mini mart and bought cheese. Bad luck followed me I guess as I opened the cheese it was 110% spoil. What a night for a RM12 cheese!! Decided to take a swim before I go to bed.

Tom Yam Soup, Kailan Ikan Masin, Telur Dada, Ikan Bakar

Breakfast and checked out!. Our breakfast coupon only for five people but we have seven. We left my younger brother and eldest sister in the room. My younger brother didn't know about it and just walk in to the buffet section. Since our buffet area located and second floor, he just followed people upstairs. We were like whispering and talking silently. "ME: aah what the heck just eat as long as nobody ask". I reached home late in the evening and I got frantic when I realize that I left my pen drive on the tv. How the hell did I forgot!! Anyway, I called and it was found. I don't know if I have the time and money to go back there to collect. They can't mail it to me. **Oh what a service**

Taken by: LaynaKim

07.11.2015, Saturday - went to Melaka for Hawa's graduation. Arrived UITM Lendu at 10.30am and waited for Hawa to collect her rope and fill in forms.  Then straight to lunch. One thing I love being in Lendu is the cheap food price. Price for an average mix rice is RM7 include drink. Next we checked in Hotel Rembia. They bought new shop house nearby the area so our room is new!

During our stay in Melaka, we didn't really go anyway special. Sunday = Convo Day!
Congrats lil sis!!!


Till next story!! TTFN tata for now~







Sunday, August 30, 2015

VACATION, FESTIVE & LOVE

It's September already!! Wow more than half years has pass and there's not much to tell. Been to some places, solve some problem and mostly got a new lover (hehehe)

I will start off with my Singapore trips with BFF Anna, Sisters Nana & Jaja. My BFF and I never go for any vacation trip together so I beg her this time please save up some money and join me to Singapore. It was me who handle the budgeting and the rsvp. So I tried my best to cut down the unnecessary budget. Went to JB by car and stayed at JB too.

My budget calculation:-

4 days & 3 nights.
Petrol & Tolls = RM100 per pax
Room (3 nights per pax) = RM200
JB to USS - RM7 / USS to JB - $7
USS ticket - $74
Hire driver to Mustafa Mall $80 (for a car one way)

I drove from KL to JB for 4 hours and once we got checked in, the room was dusty and air cond was hot. Turn out there was no guest at that floor. So they need time to start the electricity and on the whatever needed switch. We've been staying at JA Residence before but never know that the maintenance was off. Put that petty problem aside the room has a nice view. The bonus point is that the location of the hotel is near to JB Central & JB Times Square. Means food hunting and transportation is NO PROBLEM.

[model: Jaja photographer: Layna]

The first day we did nothing much except for walking to JBTS to ate and watched movie "Pilot Cafe". Unfortunately the movie was not as hot as the novel.



2nd Day - Woke up super early and ate breakfast. We went out from the hotel around 7.30 pm and walk to JB Central as it's located behind our hotel. Took RWS (Resort World Sentosa) bus straight to USS for RM7 but well we had to make a stop at the immigration. Once arrived, we queue up (for quite some time) for tickets and we're in. It was epic until the queue time for ride went up for hours. The last ride we took was Mummy Return roller coaster and went for a meal. I thought only rides had to queue up for long but the food court too. It was so pack and queuing to order really took my energy away. We decide to head back to JB after the lunch. We were flat out and that's the end on that day. Tired of waiting to ride, tired of waiting for food and even tired just to smoke.




Most of the time we fill our happiness with taking pictures and selfie or shall I say wefie.










Picture taken by me model by my BFF ->

[I took this picture like more than 10 times hahahha]














3rd day our goal become one that is to shop!! Shop till you drop dead. Well this is so true. We decided to hired driver to Mustafa Mall and it only cost $80. No going in and out immigration like the previous day. Only seat in the car for about 1 hour (more or less). Seriously, I love this mall so much. Providing a lots of thing at a better price. Mustafa Mall has two side and guess what we run around those two building looking for Vitamin Water. We bought 3 cartons. This is the first time I felt so tired after shopping for 5 hours.


Once we reached hotel, everybody were jumping out of joy and started to check back the shopping items. Room was a mess and since it was dinner time we decided to check out Bazaar Karat oposite the hotel. It was nothing much so we wonder around and bought some snacks.

posing with plastic shopping bags

Durian crepe for RM10
4th day - CHECK OUT DAY. Got back with happy and tired!

16th May 2015, Mom turned 60 this year. Decided to celebrate at Crocodile Farm. We have been visited this place since I was little. What I love about this place is that the food is delicious and the service is friendly. If you peeps wonder where is this place. It's called Crocodile Farm Village and located at Lake View next to Holiday Villa Subang.

cake at RC Cafe

Mix vege, Sizzling Tofu, Lemon Chicken, Singapore Meehoon
                                   
                                         SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDIL FITRI - 18.07.2015

Raya this year was not so family as my little brother & sisters have to stay home. But on the bright side, we did have fun and feel this year was much more better raya than last year. Went back Raub on the first day of raya. First stop at Simpang Kallang. We ate our lunch here and had some chat with Pak Long & Pak Ndak's family. It was not awkward like before. I can say they move forward too. Next we drop by Dong and went to Ajai. Our original plan was to stay at Akicu's house but spending time in Ajai was so fun we end up sleep in for one day. Got to ate sambal petai, ikan perkasam, durian and Nasi Lemak Mak Long (the best). The next day we went beraya and slept at Akicu's house.
Pak Ngah was sleeping
Earlier I mention about lovers right? Well it has been 2 months since my new babies came. It's my pet kittens. First baby was received a few days before puasa. She was brought to the office by my officemate. She said she came across the kitten while went out for inspection and saw the kitten was left alone nearby her car. She picked up and brought in. I end up bring her home and start the kitten supply shopping again. So the restless night and lacking of sleep starts again. I named her Agi which in korean means baby in english.
1st Day

2 Months later


During Iftar at Crocodile Farm, the owner gave us another kitten. She was so adorable and cute. A little bit bigger than Agi. I named her Dahaeng which means Fortunate/Lucky. 

Dahaeng's first day
 

They are my new lovers now and till the next post. Love ya peeps~

Saturday, January 24, 2015

My Favorite Korean Sad Songs



My first post in 2015!!!! I've been searching more on korean ballad sad songs then I thought why don't I post one (again). Most of the songs that people recommend are from idol or not totally sad devastated feeling song. So I would like to share mine as I've updated the old ones. (View Previous Post)

Sometimes I think I have insomnia. I find it hard to fall asleep. I listen to ballad song and imagine the scene in my head and tears start to form. Yes, I cried to sleep.

Most people know Im Jae Bum's For You song (너를 위해) but  I prefer Where Are You (그대는 어디에). The lyrics is about a guy who is looking for his lover.

A line that I like in the lyric:-

"돌아올 그대 모습 그려 보는것 만으로 너무나도 행복해진 나는 자꾸 눈물이 나는지"
Just by picturing you come back makes me feel too happy till tears falling down



So Hyang sang her version in I Am A Singer and totally gave me goosebump. (So Hyang video has eng sub)




People thought that korean song only has 1 genre that is pop (K-Pop). They're wrong. Kim Kyungho is one of the famous rocker in South Korea. I recommend listen to 나를 슬프게하는 사람들 (People Who Make Me Sad). The song is about a guy who fall in love with his friend which a girl. You know girls always has this one guy as her best friend. She kept his picture in her wallet, she ran to him if anything happened and a voice who she recognize easily but she still end up with another guy.

A verse that I like in the lyric:-


"언젠가 그가 너를 맘 아프게 해 너 혼자 울고 있는 걸 봤어, 달려 가 그에게 나 이 말 해줬으면 그대가 울리는 그 한 여자가 내겐 삶의 전부라고"

One time I saw you crying because of him. I want to run to him and say this that the girl you just hurt is my everything



Hong Kyungmin perform his rendition of the song in Immortal Songs 2. (video with eng sub)



If you're not a korean that you must know Miss You (보고 싶다) by Kim Beomsoo. Most of the international korean song fans know Kim Beomsoo for his song Miss You. Let me introduce you his debut song A Day (하루). It top the chart as soon as it release. This song really makes me burst into tears not to mention the mv too. This song is about the painful that love gives.

A verse that I like in the lyric:-

"사랑이 날 또 아프게 해요. 사랑이 날 또 울게 하네요. 그렇게 사랑했던 추억마저 잊어달라며 사랑은 잔인하게 떠나가네요"

Love is hurting me again. Love is making me cry again. Asking me to forget even our memories of love, Love is mercilessly leaving me.



Next one is Lee Sora's Please. It's not the Lee Sora supermodel but the singer. If you're Immortal Songs program fans that you will know Yoon Minsoo and Shin Yongjae's performance. I like Please way before that. I first found out from Boa & Bohyung Spica version. So I searched for the original and found Lee Sora. Lee Seunggi did remake and release it too. From what I know Lee Sora cried for her live performance in some show ( I can't remember). She cried at the start of the song so they have to re-shoot it again and again. At that time, she just broke up. So I can feel the overwhelmed from the song. The song is about the girl who keep on asking her ex-lover to come back.

A verse that makes me cry in the lyric:-



어떻게든 다시 돌아오길 부탁해. 처음으로 다시 돌아가길 바랄게.
I'm asking you to come back somehow. I'm begging for everything to go back to the way it first was
기다릴게 너를 하지만  너무 늦어지면은 안돼
I will wait for you but I can't if its too late
멀어지지마 더 가까이 제발
Don't distance yourself, come closer... please


Lee Seunggi -  Please (eng sub)


 Spica (Boa & Bohyung) - Please


Lee Sora - Please (original)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSXlZ-i2d3s

Yoon Minsoo & Shin Yongjae - Please (Immortal Songs 2)  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPGRMUI0g8U


Have you heard of Shin Seung Hoon? He is one of the top ballad singer. His song called Invisible Love really caught my ears. The lyrics is so poetry I say. Invisible love is about love which you don't really see with your eyes but feel with your heart also a one sided love. LED Apple did their rendition in Immortal Songs.

A verse in the lyric:-

어제는 사랑을 오늘은 이별을.  미소짓는 얼굴로 울고 있었지
Yesterday love is today goodbye.  You are crying with your smiling face
하지만 나 이렇게 슬프게 우는건 내일이면 찾아올 그리움 때문일꺼야      
But the reason I cry so sadly is because longing will find me tomorrow



Lastly is my mama bird Shin Hyesung & Lyn - After Love. I don't want to be so bias so I'm not gonna say anything bout it. The song is about letting your love go and don't regret.



Actually I have loads of sad ballad song to share but for now the above song you guys must listen. If you want more, you can just PM me. You can search for me in Twitter or Facebook


The video that I'm sharing below is from Hidden Singer season 2. Hidden singer is a show of people who can imitate or impersonate an artist voice. Below is Jo Sangmo episode winner which the impersonator won, Im(Lim) Sunghyun.