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Thursday, December 08, 2016

3 Weeks to Welcome 2017



Hey peeps! 2016 dah nak berakhir. How's my 2016? Bittersweet I say.. 
Started with lots of sweetness and end with bitter (excessive).
Tapi I still thankful utk semua memories.
I dapat rasa sesuatu yang dah lama tak rasai.
I dapat satu kebahagian walaupun seketika.
I dapat satu harapan walaupun akhirnya musnah.
At least I dapat merasai and I was sincere.

I've been thinking what should I change and what should I do in 2017.
The things that I scare is all the memories of new year 2016 comes back.
With my birthday coming up, everything gets clearer and I fall into the past.
I hate that. I don't want to stay in the past but somehow it's kinda hard for me to move on.
I'm lucky to have a strong mind that able to block all the sadness that I've felt that day.
Somehow no tears the next day. Smiling and laughing. As if there's nothing happen.
My brain able to suppress all the sadness within me.
The third day, I tried to test myself if there's tears but nope I end up laughing.
Despite that, my body suffer a little. Rejects all the food coming in.
It's like my state of mind is fine but not my body.
I really felt hungry and wanted to eat. But end up vomit.
Masuk satu sudu terus kuar balik. The food tak nak go thru tekak.
Tapi I still paksa walaupun masuk keluar masuk keluar.
Few days I was damn hungry. But it last till one week jek.
Slowly my tekak accepting food as a few matters occur during that period.
And slowly I do felt a little relieve.
Now? I can't say that I'm fine cause actually I know I don't.
I'll be dead meat if I see him one day. All the suppress confirm macam air terjun nanti.
But for now yeah, I'm good.

- 2017 -
Wanted to stop eating rice but I dunno sama ada I can take that challenge.
I also want to be extra clever with my finance.
Go holiday as much as I can.
Get to know a lot of people.
Be extra careful in love.

Yeah, I guess that's it. Hopefully 2017 brings me happiness and makes me forget 2016 bad memories.

xoxo