Good day people!!!!! After a year here I am posting this. I must say writing a blog is not as easy as before. There are numerous of series happened in the past 2 years. Covid-19 became an endemic now. No more lock up in our own country, states, districts or house. We can fly now that the barrier is up but depends on each country SOP.
Let me summarize my life of year 2020 & 2021.
Got married in Feb 2020, Lockdown PKP 1.0 starts in middle March and ends in early May. Working at home is so bad for health mental. Seriously I never knew that I will get depression. Locking up at home and unable to go out and refresh your mind is a no no for me. Ya Allah, memang otak rasa beku. Memang seronok sbb duduk umah kan but kita dah biasa kerja and only at home during the nights. Masa tu baru kahwin lagi la otak aku tepu. We quarreled a lot due to misunderstanding and stress we having at that time. After May, we able to do work at the office but working hours were shorten and small group of employee were allowed in the office. Part ni best sebab kerja selang seli and takda la terperangkap dalam rumah. Then later on we able to cross states. Masuk year 2021 in January lock down balik but hanya tak boleh keluar from states. Later in June PKP 2.0 happened. This time we prepared. I called up Hafiz & Rose to join and stay at my place. The more the merrier. hahaha.. After 2 months, the ban lifts. But no crossing states yet, only interstate but must be with letter. Selepas itu, most of the time the government implement ban for crossing or states or districts only. No more lockdown but the number of cases infected or death increase daily. Towards end of year 2021, most of us boleh cross states.
And here we are 2022, we are able to fly out. Everything has open. My workload has increase to double. Erghhh..
It's still me and my husband no little us yet. Maybe working has taken a toll on my body stress. Not getting pregnant is also a stress. Watching my besties had her 2nd baby girl makes me feel a little jealous. How easy she got pregnant while me trying lots of things to get pregnant. Still negative. Allah mungkin ada rancangan lain untuk aku and aku bersyukur yang Allah bagi aku rezeki lain. Alhamudulillah aku tiada masalah dari segi kewangan, makan minum atau any other things. In Sha Allah sampai masa turn aku pula.
So thats it for 2020/2021. Even 2022 pun nothing much happened. Wishing everyone a happy life!!!
Hi yalls!! Ya Allah aku rasa dah bersawang blog aku ni. Sepatutnya aku update on my nikah & sanding tapi nan hado and setahun dah berlalu baru aku teringat aku ni ada blog dowh.. hhahahaha
Aku tgh terfikir should I really write up on my nikah and sanding.. But untuk memories and dibaca so Aku rasa I will post it whenever it's ready.
It's 2021 and guess what, we are unable to keluar rumah due to covid-19. Dah masuk tahun kedua of covid and PKP 3.0 Lockdown. Aku beruntung weiiiiii dapat buat majlis sebelum kerajaan announce PKP 1.0 tahun lepas ini middle march. Maka dengan itu majlis sebelah lelaki tak dapat dibuat sebab PKP until early May. Yes 2 bulan ko terperangkap dalam rumah macam org gila. And sekali lagi bernasib baik sebab my two favorite munchkin are staying with me. Ada la penyeri hidup...
Bila kau duduk dirumah kerijo ny memasak dan makan., Tidur waktu subuh bangun waktu zohor (psstt kalo husben aku asar beb) memang tunggang langgang hidup. Aku cannot brain. After 2 weeks lockdown, aku jadi sewel. Malam-malam pakai makeup nak keluar... hahahaha... Tapi sekurangnya boss aku bagi gaji penuh. Dia takda buang orang. I still have my salary and bonus. Sebab buka je office terus masuk gear 5. Kerja terlalu banyak and stress. Sebab aku bekerja dengan orang yang tak pandai buat kerja. Tolonglah orang-orang tua ini berhenti. Bagi yang muda dan lebih efisien untuk bekerja.
So selepas setahun berkahwin....... hurmmmm still need to learn more. Our view or opinions are different in every way. Our life, motto even lifestyle are differennt. FOOD a big NO NO... Well that is marriage. Either u accept his behavior and difference or just leave him.. For now, I choose to dealt with it. Let's see for another 4 years... hahahahha
Take care everyone and be safe. Make sure wear your mask and bring your sanitizer every where.
Hello my dearest people!! As I said earlier I akan post tentang wedding preparation I. Benda paling penting sekali ada pilih wedding planner yang betol dan jangan kena tipu. Ramai sangat penipu di luar sana. Berhati-hati.
Let me share how did I found out about my wedding planner.
Thank you to advertisement in IG, I saw the pictures and videos felt interested. Then I check out the price is very reasonable.
ALI GRAND HALL, they have 15 - 20 halls in different location to hold the wedding. They bought big lots in shopping mall and decorates it into a wedding hall. Sekarang ni benda cenggini memang tengah trend dengan all in package dorang sangat affordable.
Aeon AU2, Keramat - Amcorp Mall, Petaling Jaya - Anggun City, Rawang - Bangi Gateway, Bangi
Cheras Sentral, Cheras - Melawati Mall, Kuala Lumpur - One Shamelin Mall, Kuala Lumpur
NSK Wangsa Maju, Kuala Lumpur - Dewan Plaza Alam Sentral, Shah Alam - Star Venue Mall, Subang - Axis Pandan, Kuala Lumpur - etc
My reception will be held at Star Avenue Mall, Kampung Melayu Subang. They have 2 different halls. I choose Level 3 as it is more classy I guess compare to Level 2 which is garden theme.
Masa aku survey tanya pasal harga through IG, dia cakap date yang aku nak tu ada orang lain eyeing tapi dorang belum bayar deposit untuk lock date. Uisshhh nervous aku buatnya. That weekend juga aku terus pergi HQ dia and inquiry.
Pakej yang ditawarkan adalah all in dan price for min 1000 pax. I'm not their sales person so I tak akan explain apa-apa yang ditawarkan but at that time this is the offer.
Mesti tertanya date apa yang aku nak sangat tu sampai one year before wait sebelum bertunang dah lockdate?
I really like this date so masa aku plan nak kahwin memang aku terus pick this date. Biarpun lambat lagi aku lock juga and paid RM1000.
I'm gonna share how's my hall looks like. Ok sekarang aku tetiba rasa excited plak! hahaha
Okay done sharing about my reception. Solemnization jangan lupa!!!!! Ini paling pening sebenarnya. Nak buat dekat masjid pun ada bayarannya around RM300 or so. I look up dekat website masjid tu and memang dia tulis RM300 per hour I was like...... Dalam sejam apa pun tak sempat. Nak tangkap gambar lagi apa lagi. aiyyoooo... belum lagi sewa dewan makan and catering. Macam-macam juga la idea yang keluar. Like buat pagi nikah terus sambung sanding tetapi pepagi buta pula la aku nak bangun nak buat semua ni. Abang aku tak agree. Sewa homestay? Tetapi dekat subang susah nak cari yang murah. Next aku check out Ruang perghhh mahal weeeiiii. Datanglah satu idea yang aku hope boleh bantu aku mengurangkan perbelanjaan. Adik aku kerja di art gallery. Aku suruh dia tanya boss dia boleh tak aku buat nikah dekat situ. Masa aku dapat call from dia benda pertama dia cakap YOU'RE ONE LUCKY BITCH! Kau tak pelik ke? Rupanya boss dia bagi guna gallery tu for free.. Ya Allah! Rezeki nak kahwin mungkin. Aku bersyukur sangat.
So venue for nikah & sanding dah boleh tick out. hehehe.. Next topic will be about my nikah preparation.
Hey all! I'm due on posting this topic. But I still want to share with peeps out there. Pada siapa yang clueless and maybe jenis kena buat benda semua sendiri.. taraaaaaaa I'll post my engagement preparation and journey so other peeps boleh amek contoh yg baik.. yang tak baik tu tuttup jela sebelah mata.
Cerita macam mana aku boleh nak bertunang ni sangat simple. Setiap kali aku cerita orang mcm susah sangat nak percaya. Aku yang punya cerita aku tahu la.. ni tak.. mereka tak percaya.. haisshh
Kisahnya aku kenal dia sebab dia berkawan dengan akak aku. Masa aku mula lepak dengan geng-geng akak aku ni aku tengah putus cinta. Masih ingat kisah sepatutnya aku bertunang in December tu? Tak jadi!! Alasan macam-macam padahal ada perempuan lain. Kalau nak tahu kisah ni lain kali la aku citer ya. So nak mencari ketengangan aku pun ikutlah akak aku. Boleh gelak and lupakan sebentar masalah menimpa. Aku dan dia adalah kawan. Memang kawan yang tiada perasaan cinta (itu aku) Tak rapat pun baru je kenal around Nov 2017. Selepas 5 bulan berkawan, aku boring dengar orang asyik cakap aku dengan dia bercintalah bukan kawanlah. Sesuailah...
Masa tu aku memang tiada niat nak bercinta sebab baru putus cinta and was really hurt. Dia jugalah yang nampak kesedihan aku hahahha.
Bila dah ramai sangat cakap aku pun dengan selambanya "kalo rasa boleh dengan aku, masuk la meminang". Aku tak mahu bercinta. Kalau nak kahwin terus. Dia sahut cabaran tu. And walaaaah 16 March 2019 kami bertunang atas request mak dia. Aku nak suruh merisik je hehehe..
Let me tell you planning untuk bertunang pun bukan mudah. I got people who always put me down. Aku sampaikan niat aku pada saudara mara. Pak cik aku tu aku rasa nak lempang pun ada. Sibuk tanya ibu aku dah kenal belah sana ke belum. Ibu aku kena kenal dorang dulu la ape la. Pada ibu aku, yang patut kenal family dia adalah aku sebab nanti mereka sebahagian dari aku. Kalau sesuai buat aku, sesuailah. Mase pak cik aku dok pester pasal benda ni aku nak je ckp ko yang dah kenal family menantu kau pun anak kau bercerai. So? Lagipun sepatutnya kami semua berkenalan time merisik tapi sebab nak bertunang sekali. Jadi sekali gus la.Aduhhh orang lain yang buat pening.
Let's get on with the topic. Aku akan list down apa yang patut korang fikir untuk buat majlis merisik/tunang. Plan asal was aku nak buat simple. No pelamin, sarung cincin atas kerusi je. Baju kurung kat kedai peace. Tapi bila aku dah buat budgeting aku rasa aku mampu compare to 2 years ago. Jadi aku go on dekat apa yang aku nak. Tema bertunang aku adalah Biru. Family aku pakai royal blue dan aku pakai baby blue.
So below is the list in sequence:-
1) Venue - rumah, kampung or rent a place
2) Food - catering or masak sendiri
3) Hantaran - makanan or barang
4) Attire - sedia ada or beli/tempah baru
5) Lain - lain - pelamin, doorgift, mua, khemah, kerusi & meja, homestay, langkah bendul
1) Venue / Location
Paling jimat adalah buat dirumah sendiri. Tetapi aku tak mungkin nak buat dekat rumah dengan mengetahui keadaan rumah aku macam ship wreck. After lots of discussion aku decide buat dekat kampung. Alhamdulillah aki aku pun support untuk buat kat sana. Kampung aku di Raub, Pahang and belah lelaki pula dari Terengganu jadi perjalanan tu takda lah jauh sangat.
My other options were rent a homestay or venue macam ruang. Tapi perbelanjaan die maakk aii. Jadi kalau korang nak save budget buat di rumah sendiri.
2) Food
This is so important. I balik kampung 3 days before the majlis. So I plan all my meals. 3 days tu sangat hectic and memenatkan dengan keadaan aku yang tak sihat. Bayangkan sehari sebelum aku boleh kena beguk. Oh my god! Memang sangat stress.
We order catering for the majlis from mini catering. You can check her IG "Anakmakina". Kuih I order from my aunt.
Lunch Menu for Majlis
Nasi Putih
Gulai Lemak Ayam
Daging Rendang Hitam
Sayur Campur
Ikan Masin
Sambal Belacan
Buah Tembikai
Kuih Bakar
Kek Lapis
Air Sirap
Coffee & Tea
Daging Rendang Hitam was cooked by my brother. Dia punya daging ni setiap kali raya memang menu wajib. Bukan senang ok nak prepare 6kg daging ni. Banyak sangat step nya. Kalau ada masa I share. Kuih Bakar aku order dari Mak Long aku. Tiada siapa boleh challenge dia punya kuih. Kek Lapis sponsored by adik aku. Junior dia selling kek lapis. Buah, coffee & tea tu sendiri prepare laa.
Family lelaki datang sehari sebelum and they arrived pun dah malam. So we prepared dinner for them. Dengan ada drama plak yang berlaku petang tu. Semua emotionally unstable. Dengan pak cik aku yang tak habis habis pester kami. Betol-betol bergaduh kami sehari sebelum majlis. Elok-elok dia jadi wakil aku terus cancel. Nasib baik ada aki dan adik ibu aku. Kelam kabut jugalah. Sebenarnya pihak perempuan tak perlu sediakan makanan untuk family lelaki tetapi sebab mereka sampai lambat jadi atas baik hati family I (tangan ke dada mata ke atas) kami sediakan untuk mereka.
I buat dekat kampung and I tak kenal any caterer. I terjumpa mini catering dekat raub and I just DM dekat FB and bayar deposit. Mesti orang tanya boleh percaya ke? Alhamdulillah I tak kena tipu. Makanan dia pun sedap. Kenapa I berani amek? Sebab dia selalu hantar makanan for company/corporate.
3) Hantaran
I beruntung because my mom serahkan pada I. Aku decided utk buat 3 balas 3. Lagipun ni hanya bertunang.
Dulang Lelaki: 1) Sebentuk cincin dan tepak sireh 2) cake 3) gula-gula, garam, gula dan asam keping
Dulang Perempuan: 1) sebentuk cincin dan sirih junjung 2) cake 3) kek lapis dan biskut
Mesti pelik, kenapa ada garam, gula dan asam keping? Sebab adat orang sana, katanya represent masam, manis dan masin kehidupan rumah tangga yang akan dijalani.
Pada sesiapa nak order cake or manisan I suggest you check IG Chachacake. Cake dia serious sedap harga berpatutan. Both our cake by her.
Setengah family akan minta 5 balas 7 dan ada juga time bertunang duit hantaran diberi separuh dulu. Alhamdulillah Ibu seorang yang memahami dan tak kisah pun. Dia cakap asalkan sebelum nikah nanti duit hantaran diberi. Nilai duit hantaran juga ditetapkan oleh aku. rahsiiaaaa~
4) Attire
Kenapa aku letak pakaian no 4 sebab this is paling tak penting antara yang atas tu. Pada yang size available semua kedai boleh je pergi kedai baju and beli. Kot jovian ada sale ke boleh pi usha kan? Walaupun jovian ada size besar masih belum cukup besar untuk aku. Aku decide to tempah luar. Pada semua plus size or big size bride macam aku, boleh check out IG Effie Sabrina. They really cater baju kurung to plus size sampai size 10XL tak silap I.
I'm so lucky pada masa tu Jackel buat promotion. Really price cut! I bought baby blue valentino fabric cost RM13 per metre and sparkling lace cost RM30 per metre. End up I bought for my fiance juga that baby blue valentino untuk dijadikan kurta.
5) Lain - Lain
a) Pelamin
b) Doorgift
c) Homestay
d) Khemah, kerusi & meja
e) Makeup artist (MUA)
f) Langkah Bendul
Kenapa aku groupkan semua diatas sebagai lain-lain? Sebab tak semua orang perlukan pelamin atau homestay. Pada niat asalnya pelamin dan doorgift pun tak ada dalam list aku tetapi masa pergi tunang sepupu aku dapat doorgift dekat situ buat ibu ada keraguan. hahahaha...
Pelamin - bare in mind yang aku buat dekat kampung. Jadi aku tak tahu any wedding planner. Niat dihati nak DIY je tetapi jauh la pula nak pi collect barang. Nasib baik aku amik no telefon tukang buat pelamin mak cik aku last year. Aku tunjuk gambar pelamin yang aku nak and harga dia bagi sangat berpatutan sekali less RM300 dengan pasang pelamin dan transport.
Doorgift - Aku buat for 100 pax cost must be RM50 and below. Aku bought chocolate chip cookies RM1 ada 10pcs dalam tu. Kemudian aku beli kotak di ThankQ, Nilai and beli plastik kecil untuk packing. I really recommend this.
Homestay - Aku sediakan untuk belah lelaki sebab dorang datang dari jauh. Jadi aku sediakan tempat tinggal. Kalau family lelaki dah ada tempat tinggal tak perlulah nak sediakan. Kalau ikutkan masa bertunang pihak perempuan tak perlu sediakan tempat tinggal untuk keluarga lelaki. Ini atas perbincangan you dengan bakal you. (baik aku ni kurangkan bebanan pihak lelaki hahaha)
Khemah, meja dankerusi - Kalau kt kampung mmg sangat memerlukan. Sebab rumah aki aku halaman luas. Jadi senang. Aku sendiri memang bukan jenis makan atas lantai. Bukan memilih atau berlagak tetapi sebab aku berbadan besar kalau duduk atas lantai seminit je dah sakit kaki. Aku siap add on kipas besar lagi. Panas woiii tgh hari buta.
Makeup Artist - Aku super lucky dapat MUA yang selalu improve her skill. I remember saw her first few post on her work. Biasa2 but really like it. So masa time dia make up aku serious skill dia improve gila. Pada yang duduk raub boleh guna khidmat dia. Satu je aku pesan tolong jangan bargain harga, Barang yang dia pakai bukan barang murah. Serum dan moisturize jer cost her almost RM200 so that she can prep your face properly. Check out her IG Makeupbyeifa.
Langkah Bendul - pada sesiapa yang ada kakak belum berkahwin bersedialah. You need to sediakan langkah bendul ni. Alhamdulillah akak-akak aku terima apa sahaja aku nak bagi. Jadi aku bagi kain 6 meter sorang. Sebab sale jackel punya pasal aku beli je cenggitu. hahahahha
Kalau ikot kan apa yang aku citer dalam ni semua yang dah simplify sebab kalau cerita aku punya research and survey on price and vendor. Setahun juga la aku plan majlis ni. Sebab nak kumpul duit bulan2. Yela kita tak pernah plan nak kahwen tahu simpan duit pi holiday je. Ni dah habis holiday duit pun dah abes kenalah menabung balik. Tapi Alhamdulillah cukup je semuanya.
Cost engagement aku around RM2500 - RM3000 total all in termasuk lah dengan makan selama 3 hari aku kat kampung tu dengan petrol and tolls. Next up aku akan update tentang wedding planner aku. tunggguuuu~
Hey all! OMG! I didnt post anything for 2019.
Lots of stuff happened that I would like to share. Unfortunately I'm busy with work. Since the raise, I never got a chance to check out my blog. Even my subbing vids for live performance stops too.
I really love to share my preparation for my wedding but that will take some time. I will draft it and post part 1 first. Hope I can post it within this month. Lots of info for big size bridal like me.
Anyway hopefully my remaining 2019 will be blessful and happy. Love ya peeps.
Yo peeps! OMG I totally abandoned this blog. 2018 pun dah nak end. I baru nak update satu post.
So let's go through 2018 events..
1) My couzie Azwan bertunang. That was the biggest news ever. He is known for someone very dumb about love. So bila announcement dibuat we all were like gasp! hahaha!! Tunang on 16/09/2018 and Nikah on 16/4/2019. Majlis belah lelaki on that Sunday.
2) Met my soon to be MIL. Damn nerve-wrecking!!!! I dont want to go on details. But yeah she's alright. Definitely we can talk together even some parts hurmmm i angguk-angguk jek.
End of the year office sanggggggat busy. Dengan aku aku sekali la kena buat report. bengong!!! Xpe aku pikir rezeki nk tunang jek la. Walaupun sampai stress lahai buat report ni. Harap harap bonus setimpal dengan stress aku. perghhh siap mc la aku. badan penat dok OT seminggu.
Keje dah abes..kes tunang belum lagi. Ada 4 bulan lagi. Barang-barang nk standby. Alhamdulillah cincin dah tempah. Baju bulan 12 baru nk tempah. Nak-nak bulan Nov & Dec ada sale kat Nilai 3. Maka hujung bulan kami pun akan terjah dan terus beli lah apa yg patut. Tgh sale katakan!!! Sangat berdebar!!
Oh and Abg Red dalam masa 4 bulan dah 10k miles.. gilalaaaa.. kau berjalan saja ngn abg red.
Till here peeps. Rajin-rajin aku update laa.. hahah
Hey peeps! Oh my 8 months has passed and satu apa pun I tak post. Nampak tak tahun n kita busy la!!! I can say my 2018 is dedicated to my family. I've got a birthday surprise from a friend who turn out is soon to be Mr Fiance. hahahaha!!!! I handle my aunt's wedding. Oh my please remind me not to do this again. Pengantin tidak membantu langsung. Daripada ikhlas jadi tak ikhlas. Sebab merungut tak henti sampai sekarang. Walaupun dia dah kahwin. Pengantin perasan princess tu la yang payah. Itu satu hal. Ok ok dah. kang post ni jadi panjang gila.
Faris got married last week. Pak Long is next then a week after is Azwan's engagement. One beautiful morning, I received a phone call. Quite anxious actually! Pak Long said he's coming for a visit. So I called Ibu and roger everyone about Pak Long visits. Semua bergegas bangun dan kemas. Pak Long datang nak menyampaikan berita. Dirinya telah bertemu seseorang yang nak menjaganya. Alhamdulillah. Kami pun lega sekurang kurangnya tak perlu Pak Long nak wander around. Sometimes I pity him but at times I remember what he did and said so its karma. I believe whatever hardship you're facing now is because in the past you did something bad. That's why. I'm not an angel either, it's my way of reminding myself.
Latest & Update News: GETTING ENGAGE IN YEAR 2019
Hopefully this announcement will turn a real one not like last time. 7 months to go. Found all the needs & supplier. 4 months before we will execute all. Location will be at Kampung. Pray everything will go according to the plan.
Last year I wrote a bucket list(?) I think. Here's the list and let's cross some.
1) Buy new laptop (I need to postpone this. Focus on engagement first)
2) Buy a car (Yeahh!! At last I got mine end of July)
3) Lose some weights (I'm not sure if it successful or not but I manage to wore some my old clothes)
4) Active subbing (need to cancel this out. I got no time now)
5) Fly back hometown Seoul (In October and it's confirm)
6) Malaysia Vacay
- Terengganu (Going this November, plus to meet my soon to be MIL)
- Sabah, Penang & Langkawi (No time nowadays)
7) Overseas Vacay
- Japan, Australia, Thailand, Indonesia & Europe Tour
Only did 3. Hahahahaaa.. Anyway till here peeps. Will post after got back from Seoul.
Morning peeps...!! Wow I've never update blog in the morning but today is an exception. It's a beautiful day today (28/12/2017). So I left 3 days before 2017 therefore I just wanna write one last time before 2017 ends. hehehehe Anyway 2018 has not even start yet but my schedule for that year is 50% booked. Not my personal activity but you know with your relatives weddings, your vacation and small getaway with friends.
People always talk about resolutions or goals for new year. I don't have a direct goals. I just write what I want but I never decide when I want it. There's a lot of wants but little action for wanting it. hahahahaha.. It's not a big thing. Something like owning a new laptop or able to buy a car. Let me list down it here who knows I might actually do it.
1) Buy a new laptop
2) Buy a car
3) Lose some weights (not like being in size S or M but lose some pounds to fit in my clothes)
4) Actively subbing (need to maintain this)
5) Fly back to hometown baby~ Seoul!
6) Malaysia Vacay
- Terengganu (the last time I was there, I was less than 10 yrs old)
- Sabah (attended my mom's officemate wedding)
- Penang (been there but never went for sight seeing)
- Langkawi (again of course!!)
7) Overseas Vacay
- Japan (need to go there once)
- Australia
- Thailand (wanting to go Krabi for a long time)
- Indonesia (only went once with all the families, definitely need to go there)
- Europe Tour!!!
No. 6 & 7 I have my whole life to plan. Hahahahaha... See this is so not goals or resolutions. hahahhaa I never had one. From small till I grow up, in elementary or in college. I never thought about it. Some people talk about being a 5 figure salary when they reach certain age... or married before certain age.. or climbing which mounts.. I don't have that.. hahahaha Am I weird?
Who doesn't want a 5 figure salary? I do. But will I be able to carry out a 5 figure task. I don't thing so. It's not because of capability but more to workloads I guess. heheheheheheh Married? Perempuan mana taknak kahwin. (Wait I baru perasan I've been typing in english this whole time hahaha) Semua orang nak kahwin and gets to next phase of life. Tapi bukan senang nak cari partner. It's either I have a high standard or guys not to a standard par these days. hahahahaha... I'm not saying in terms of looks but knowledge, manners, words and actions. Sometimes whatever they says doesn't match up with their actions. I hate that. I ada dua jenis lelaki in my eyes. Pertama he is a guy but I don't see him as a guy. Kedua, he gives off the guy vibes. hahhaaha.. Pelik tapi itulah saya!! heheheh
Okay enough of babbling. I will end my last post of 2017 here with You've done well. You've worked hard this year. You did great! I need to remind myself about this. Never compares myself with others (in terms of lifestyle or success). And Jonghyun, you really did well. You've never been lack of talent but maybe you've lost your confident in yourself. Rest well my dear idol.
Hey peeps!!! Lagi sebulan before 2018 welcoming us. Alhamdulillah rezeki 2017 lebih baik dari 2016. You know there's a superstitious regarding number 9. For example if you age at 19, 29, 39 and so on, that year will be quite bad for you. Like Chinese with number 4 (meaning death), Japan also has their superstitious. Number 9 means suffering or torture. But I heard it from watching a drama/movie (can't remember) saying that whenever you at the age of 19, 29 and so on your life much more threatening than the rest. Meaning bad luck keeps occur or your life graph will be going down.
Anyway, what I can wrap up about my 2017 is I got raise twice and promoted once. I started to survey for a car (praying everything will go well). Although this year not so much holiday trip but I often balik kampung. Some people will say nahh balik kampung jek kot. But for me the relationship that once fallen wait entah bape kali dah.. is coming back together. Even from my side with ex-bff couzy pun dah okay. Next time we able to sit and discuss like adult I guess.
To you all peeps, happy spending your last month of 2017. Muah.. Muah.. Muah..
Hey peeps! Dalam tak sedar rupanya kita dah lalui 2017 half year. Wahhhh sekejap jek dah nak 2018. Raya was so much fun this year as most of my cousins went back to Raub side (mana yg dah berkahwin). Ramai lah berkumpul kali ni. Nasib baik dapat pecah dua rumah. Satu di simpang kallang satu lagi di gesing. Alhamdulillah semua sihat-sihat belaka.
I balik kampung first day Raya jadi tak swimming dalam traffic jam but still stuck. We arrived around 4. Konon tak swimming tapi sampai petang juga.. hahaha First house was Cikgu Mokhtar's. Perghhh tak ingat dunia punya panas. Padahal seminggu sblm raya hujan tak berhenti-henti. Not much happened dekat rumah cikgu sebab cuaca yang panas cairlah make up aku. Pak Long asyik donning his baju melayu saying hadiah from us. Then ada pulak sekumpulan penari dok praktis depan rumah. hahaha.. Most of the time I sat outside and talked.
Pak Long posing with His New Baju Melayu
Perbincangan penari untuk persembahan baru
Next house rumah di Dong. Ohh matahari semakin terik dan angin takda langsung. So lepak bawah pokok la nampaknya. Port sini selalunya melepak depan tv tapi kalo dah 30 org masuk satu rumah rasa-rasa??? Sebab penuh sangat dalam rumah jadi lepak kat luar. Maka terhasillah gambar-gambar kat bawah.
say JIBEK!!
Last house macam biasa rumah Mak Long Ajai. Kalau dah singgah rumah mak long pepaham la. Susah nak angkut punggung ni bangun. Dapat pulak mak long nya masakan. Dah berjalan sampai ke maghrib baru teringat gambar family takda.
Maknae keje..kena tinggal dekat subang
Raya kedua?? Takda raya dah.. Memang raya pertama jek pun kalo berjalannya. Cuma tahun ada beza sikit sebab Aunt Jen I bertunang.. hahaha Dengan itu skill make up I sangat berguna. Bukan orang yang nak tunang jek.. orang lain pun I make up kan.. I juga lah orang terakhir yang mandi dan siap. hahaha
Aunt Jen tudung merah, Aunt Roby baju purple
Aunt Roby request sweet look
After majlis selsesai, sepatutnya nak balik subang tetapi...... Mak Long ajai duduk dengan kami. Tetiba dengar bisikan jahat.. die berbisik "nasi lemak......" hahahahha punyalah kami bersatu memujuk mak long. Yelah mak long tak berapa nak sihat tapi kalau balik kampung tak rasa nasi lemak rugi lah. Ayat paling win adalah from pak ndak cakap "takpe barang2 semua saya sponsor". Akhirnya mak long agreed nak buat nasi lemak. Dan yang paling best, semua postpone balik the next day. Dr malam ke pagi makan nasi lemak like there's no tomorrow. Kenyang sampai ke pagi lah.
It's not much but being with families is the best. We mock, tease and laugh at each other. There were times we hate each other. Really hate! Because of our own selfishness. Then parents grow old and we grow up. We forgive and still trying to forget hehehe Hoping in the future, us cousins will be able to gather often.
Hey bloggy!!!! Lamanya tak singgah sini. Last was in January and sekarang dah June.
I promise (agaknya) nak update on my Langkawi Trip. So here goes....
Our flight was forward to 8.30am therefore sebelum subuh kiteorg semua bangun nak ke airport. Kali ni we olls naik Malindo okay.!! Orang yang big size like me I recommend Malindo. Arrive at Langkawi around 9.30am. Pagi-pagi perut of course lapar. Pada mulanya I malas nak sewa kereta tapi dapat deal yang menarik so I took it juga. Van Toyota Serena for 7 pax RM100 per day. Deal yang ditawarkan di Airport lebih murah berbanding di online. So pada sesiapa nak sewa menyewa tu sampai Airport terus tgk deal-deal yang ada.
Next stop, terus drive ke hotel tapi along the way to cari kedai makan. I duduk dekat Landcons Hotel, Pantai Cenang. Parking dekat Pantai Cenang ni susah sebenarnya. You can park sebelah kanan jalan sahaja. No need parking ticket or whatsoever. Hari pertama tu jauh sikit parking dari hotel.
To tell the truth kiteorg tak da aktiviti pun melainkan tidur dan makan. Cuma shopping tiada henti jek. Yelah dah duduk depan duty free zone mall adakah you nk tgk jek orang keluar masuk mall tu? Never kan? So entah berapa kali la kiteorg shopping chocolates & etc.
Second day, nak pergi makan shell out kat dataran helang. Baru lah kami keluar ke bandar. Parking jauh juga lah sebab tak nak parking mana kan. Rupanya ada tempat parking kat dalam. Takpelah kita jalan kaki sikit. Dekat dataran ni ramai orang tapi my family kalo dah dapat camera orang kiri kanan peduli ape. Mulalah perjalanan aku jadi cameraman. Pakai hp Oppo camnie la jadinya..
Actually Shell Out dekat Dataran Helang ni pemilik Chef yang ada nama tapi sorry aku tak ingat apa namanya. Memang sedap!! Tapi portion kecik giler. Untuk 4 orang tapi mcm 2 org jek. Itupun ada rasa lapar lagi tau!! Dah habis makan kita C.A.B.U.T lah balik hotel. Cer rasa buat ape? Shopping lagi laa.. Pastu kita makan lagi. Char Kuey Tiaow memalam mmg terbaik. SedaP! Portion pun puas hati. Char Kuey Tiaow ni buka waktu malam jek. Tepi jalan kt hujung Duty Free Mall.
ig: laynakim
Kalau nak cakap pasal food kat Pantai Cenang ni tak yah nak berharap sangat. Subang ni lagi sedap, Price? sama jek ngn Subang. Cekik darah!. Tapi kalau nak share tempat makan gak. I pergi makan kat hujung sikit. After Landcons, dalam 50 meter sebelah kiri ada kedai JANGGUS CENANG IKAN BAKAR. 4 stars for overall. Taste sedap, harga berpatutan dan service pun bagus.
Kalo rasa nak tgk gambar-gambar yang dipost di IG boleh la cari #laynagilangkawi huhuhu situ bnyklah gambar makanan. Breakfast tepi jalan pun ada. That's all for Langkawi.
Next pasal bulan ramadhan!!! Dah masuk hari ke-11. Terasa dekat jek Raya. Tapi kali ni Raya, tak macam Raya. Adik kerja sampai raya kedua persoalan disini bila dapat pakai baju raya? hahaha Yela kalo kat kpg raya pertama and kedua jek berjalannya pun. Raya ketiga dah melepak dok depan tv. Maka tahun ni baju raya buat perkasam. hehehehe Teringat Raya tahun lepas ada orang datang jemput di kampung. Masa tu ingat ke akan kekal selamanya tapi silap. Singgah sebentar jek rupanya. heheheh It's ok. It was a good memories kan. Anyway masih ada 2 minggu lagi utk Raya. Semoga ada rezeki lebih kali ni. Later peeps!! Nanti kita update shopping raya kalau ada. hahahaha Semangat I nk shopping ni!!! Video kat bwh overall time bercuti di Langkawi.
Hey bloggy!!! Wah 2017 takda post pun. hehehe bukan sombong tapi busy. Alhamdulillah rezeki datang pada tahun 2017. Semoga sentiasa mencurah curah lagi lah selepas ni. After 4 months, where do my heart lies now? Is it heal? Is it still wounded? Tak pasti. Susah nak cakap. Nak-nak lagi si muka buku ada plak throwback kan! Kdg bila baca post lama teringat kenangan manis tapi apakan daya. Manis seketika jek..
Hurm awal tahun banyak balik kampung and spend time dengan family. Somehow asyik nak balik kampung jek. Relax, chill takda buat ape. Oh my first holiday this year pergi Langkawi. Last sekali pergi masa I kecik lagi. Entah ingat entah tidak macam mana rupa Langkawi tu. Nanti I update Langkawi trip.
Next in 2017 macam tak banyak. Maybe pergi Redang or Perhentian. Then I nak one day trip Melaka balik. Sekarang dah takda lepak PD lagi. Adakala rasa rindu tapi tak mau lah.. Because situ lah bermula segalanya. Yes, it is sweet. Nasib baik juga lebih banyak sweet dari bitter. hehehe..
2017 asyik makan jek. Asal ada food festival mesti serbu. Kata tak nak makan nasi.. The first month jek tak makan tapi lepas tu haram. hahahaha.. Tunggu baju mula sempit kita berhenti makan nasi sekejap.. hehehe
That's it for now. Tunggu bila I ada hot story kita update..
Hey peeps! 2016 dah nak berakhir. How's my 2016? Bittersweet I say..
Started with lots of sweetness and end with bitter (excessive).
Tapi I still thankful utk semua memories.
I dapat rasa sesuatu yang dah lama tak rasai.
I dapat satu kebahagian walaupun seketika.
I dapat satu harapan walaupun akhirnya musnah.
At least I dapat merasai and I was sincere.
I've been thinking what should I change and what should I do in 2017.
The things that I scare is all the memories of new year 2016 comes back.
With my birthday coming up, everything gets clearer and I fall into the past.
I hate that. I don't want to stay in the past but somehow it's kinda hard for me to move on.
I'm lucky to have a strong mind that able to block all the sadness that I've felt that day.
Somehow no tears the next day. Smiling and laughing. As if there's nothing happen.
My brain able to suppress all the sadness within me.
The third day, I tried to test myself if there's tears but nope I end up laughing.
Despite that, my body suffer a little. Rejects all the food coming in.
It's like my state of mind is fine but not my body.
I really felt hungry and wanted to eat. But end up vomit.
Masuk satu sudu terus kuar balik. The food tak nak go thru tekak.
Tapi I still paksa walaupun masuk keluar masuk keluar.
Few days I was damn hungry. But it last till one week jek.
Slowly my tekak accepting food as a few matters occur during that period.
And slowly I do felt a little relieve.
Now? I can't say that I'm fine cause actually I know I don't.
I'll be dead meat if I see him one day. All the suppress confirm macam air terjun nanti.
But for now yeah, I'm good.
- 2017 -
Wanted to stop eating rice but I dunno sama ada I can take that challenge.
I also want to be extra clever with my finance.
Go holiday as much as I can.
Get to know a lot of people.
Be extra careful in love.
Yeah, I guess that's it. Hopefully 2017 brings me happiness and makes me forget 2016 bad memories.
Hey peeps! On my last post I ada cerita pasal sekarang ni musim heartbroken. Biasalah nak hujung-hujung tahun ni terasa sunyi dan keseorangan jek. hehehe.. Anyway previous post was lagu Malay atau Indon untuk kali I list out english songs yang menyentuh luka cinta pergghhh ayat!!
1. All Cried Out - Allure ft 112
Lagu ni memang wajib dengar. Sbb it's like a dialogue of a couple arguing sebab dorg berputus. Yang pompuan ni marah yang laki ni plak tetiba tersedar tapi jeng jeng jeng. Hang pi dengar la lagu ni.
"I gave you my love in vain. My body never knew such pleasure. My heart never knew such pain.
And you, you leave me so confused. Now I'm all cried out over you"
2. Don't Speak - No Doubt
Don't speak is one of the legendary songs of accepting the reality that you broke up. It's also no doubt representative song I may say.
"Don't speak. I know what you're thinking. I don't need your reasons. Don't tell me cause it hurts
I know what you're saying so please stop explaining. Don't speak"
3. Wish You Were Here - Avril Lavigne
This song is not really the crying type but I sure it will makes your memories with him pop up back. When you're going to a phrase where you suddenly miss him. I came across to this song when I was missing him and the lyrics really hits me. I did tear up but manage to control.
"All those crazy things we did. Didn't think about it, just went with it.
You're always there, you're everywhere. But right now I wish you were here"
4. Gone - N'Sync
When you trying to figure out dimana, bila and bagaimana semua ni berlaku. You want to rewind everything but nope that's not going to happen.
"I've been sitting here. Can't get you out my mind. I've tried my best to be a man and be strong.
I've drove myslef insane which I could touch your face but the truth remains you're gone"
5. Incomplete - Backstreet Boys
Bila you went through a phase that you can't believe it's over. This song really puts you in much more hell than ever. You cuba untuk teruskan hidup like nothing happen tapi rupanya lebih susah dari biasa. I never went through something like this sebab most of the time I broke up sebab there's no "zing" (macam Hotel Transalvania). We agreed to putus. But if he or she suddenly left you oh my! I tak bole imagine.
"I'd try to go on like I never knew you. I'm awake but my world is half asleep.
I pray for this heart to be unbroken but without you all I'm going to be is incomplete"
6. Ahora Quien - Marc Anthony
I know this is not english but the song really argghhh!!.. Ahora quien means now who? meaning who is it now you're going to deceive or who is it now you're going to lie something like that. It really suits to girl or guy who have been cheating around.
The video above was subbed by me. I'm not so sure if it's 100% correct. I read more then 5 translation of the lyrics and rewrite sentence for more poetic feeling. hehehe..
Here's all six songs that I recommend to listen when you having a heart break or mental breakdown because of love. Wish you all will bounce back from all this sadness. Next will be korean songs. Oh my I'm sure it's not easy for me to choose. Korean is very good with heart breaking music. TTFN peeps!
Hey peeps! Was browsing the net yesterday looking for heartbreak songs tapi lagu tak berapa menarik. You know it's that time of the year where loneliness attack you. So I thought of doing a list of songs tak kisah la melayu ke english ke korean ke kan. So ni antara lagu-lagu yang bagi me sangat feel kalo tengah mood sedih bercinta. Tapi for today I only do Malay/Indon sahaja.
Malay/Indon (Susunan Ikut Suka)
1. Mendua - Astrid
Lagu ni very straight forward. First time dengar lagu ni masa dalam karaoke. Ada orang nyanyi nak plak time tu memang tengah dalam mood sedih dengan boyfriend. Lirik dia terus buat air mata bergenang okay.
"Kau putuskan tuk mendua dengan dia di belakangku. Padahal aku pilih kamu jadi cinta terakhir"
2. Kisah Kita - Nieyl ft Sabhi Saddi
Siapa yang impikan cinta berakhir dijinjang pelamin tapi terputus lagu ni sangat sesuai. It really strikes at the heart and pasti akan tersentuh luka tu.
"Semua akan tahu segalanya kau dan aku ternyata cuma sebentar. Cinta telah berakhir. Kita tak mampu jadikannya cinta sebenar"
3. Setelah Aku Kau Miliki - Shima
"Jelmaan yang mendatang, meragut menggoda membenam binasa cinta.
Aku di genggaman. Engkau lepaskan kerna memburu khayalan mu."
I sure this song is all time favorite. Everybody can relate to the lyrics.
4. Andai Kau Mengerti - Vince Chong
I mengaku I was Vince big fan but this song is just super sedap. When you heartbroken and wondering what happened, this song memang sesuai.
"Pernahkah kau tahu hatiku padamu. Kasih yang menghilang dalam dakapan mesramu"
5. Cinta dan Benci - Geisha
"Sungguh aku tak bisa, sampai kapanpun tak bisa membenci dirimu"
True, that from cinta nak tukar benci bukan nya senang. U still loves him and yet you hate him too.
6. Hanya Ingin Kau Cinta - Hafiz
"Kau tinggalkan diriku dalam air mata tanpa kau merasakan sakit yang ku rasa.
Sungguh terlalu dirimu, kekasih. Biar aku pergi tanpa sisa cinta"
This is my favorite heartbroken songs. Tapi rasanya ada banyak jek. Maybe I'm more to lyrics. Sebab bila lyrics tu kita bole relate automatically air mata jadi air terjun. Hehehe..!! So my next post maybe on english heartbreak songs. Jangan sedih-sedih sampai memudarat diri. Sedangkan sedih tu tak dapat bagi kita sebarang jawapan pun. Love ya peeps!!
Hey smaxy blog of mine. It has been a long time I post anything here. I so anticipating this coming December. Why? Remember my previous post on 34 days since he left? Yup, I have set the date for my engagement. 24th December 2016!!! woohhoooo!!! He will be out in 2 weeks. Really missing him badly.
Masa mula-mula I discuss with my boyfriend I chose to do simple. Tapi bila dah tengok gambar-gambar online I became greedy. And then I jadi bride-zilla. Biasalah orang control freak memang macam ni. Bukan apa, I felt like nobody on my side. Macam kita buat sendiri jek. They know my taste yet they bagi advice base on their taste. So not helping!!! It's not easy untuk buat decision so I need someone who know my taste and bagi ideas yang I bole relate and suka. Not on what you prefer. I jadi geram, feel nobody help me and give up. Nasib la I tak give up on bertunang. hahaha.. Bila Ii tengok my friends or cousins yang dah bertunang or berkahwin I recall balik during their days. Parents dorang yang uruskan tetapi me? I feel so alone with my boyfriend not here so I have to do everything on my own yet I got criticize. Nobody support my choices. I really remembered that I cried at my boyfriend one night. Thanks to him I feel a little better. From there I stop doing every search or survey.
Tiba-tiba dah bulan Ogos!! Ada 4 bulan jek lagi. Baru la nak pergi cari kain bagai. Itu pun I still didn't send to tailor. Merajuk betul hati ni. Ada juga la rasa malas. Entah maybe sebab boyfriend tak da kat sini so rasa macam kita sorang-sorang jek yg nk bertunang, huhu~ baru-baru ni I search on pinterest for inspiration board on colors.
credit: ElegantWeddingInvites Pinterest
My theme would be Emerald Green & Peach. Idea ni datang bila I went to Kamdar Puchong. I saw beautiful emerald green lace and thought hey why don't I choose green. My boyfriend wore green for Raya. So I used his color for mine e-day. Tak payah la die nak beli baju baru. Pakai jek baju tu. hehe!~ I thought of pink or blue for my family. Ibu said asyik-asyik color biru and pink jek. Because those 2 colors we wore for Raya. I thought nak jimat duit for them supaya tak payah beli baju. But Ibu still nak buat baju baru. Excited! So Ibu chose peach. That's how emerald green & peach is my theme. I search in pinterest and thought it was a good choice. I'm not designing any highclass baju for tunang. Just a simple baju kurung moden but using lace and some added sequins.
Similar to the above picture except that my lining is way much more lighter color. I'm not going for bold this time. I need to be sweet right for my e-day. hahah!!~ My friend has a regular tailor so she recommend me to send there but I still didn't go yet. Maybe end of this month. I'm not going to wear tudung and not sure about veil too. If I'm going to wear veil I will be DIY. I found one for my inspiration.
For hair I would obviously ask my bff to do it for me. She is my hairstylist after all. I found a few bridal braid that I like with a simple accessory but if I'm going to wear veil then no accessory. I prefer sweet and simple braid as my hair is thin and short. Thought of simple low bun but my bff scold me saying no simple. hahaha!~ As for make up I will be doing it myself. I've been searching in youtube for ideas and new eye shadow pallet. Oh gosh! I need to buy new brushes, new eye shadows colors and foundation too. I used Covo but I can't find the store anymore in pyramid. Anyone knows where they move? I watched Sendayu Tinggi make up tutorial online. Their product is good but not suitable with my skin. Their foundation is cream base while my skin is dry, redness and big pores. So I prefer liquid but I think I'm gonna try it. hahaha!~ I even bought Meet Matte Nude from The Balm eye shadow. The only things I need to buy now are Urban Decay eye primer, eye shadow brushes, concealer brushes and blending brushes. Hopefully the result will be pretty and sweet.
I don't have any big plan for pelamin. So I just use my aunt's chair and renting some props to enlighten that area. I found Pelamina.co IG and check out their prices. It's quite affordable and really recommend it. I'll rent 2 white vase with flowers and white carpet.
Untuk hantaran I dah minta my boyfriend not to give any expensive things. Make it 3 by 3. I hanya sediakan cake, chocolates and fruits and asked him the same. Selalu sebelah lelaki cukup dengan cincin, tepak sirih and cake or whatsoever. Bila nak nikah nanti baru kita buat hantaran all out. hehehe!!~
Bagi cincin pula I said to him that I suka solitaire but it would be too much for bertunang. Maka I cakap kalau solitaire dia mampu masa nikah jangan bagi cincin. Kita tukar bagi rantai atau gelang. Takda lah penuh jari I kan. hehe!~ tapi kalo mahal kita beli yang biasa sahaja macam eternity ring.
Sample of Solitaire Ring
Sample of Eternity Ring
Besides than all the above, I also list what should I do for myself before E-Day.
2016 May 10th, Tuesday - Hi peeps! I just got back from Seoul. Yes again! It's like my second home. I may not be able to fly back to Seoul next year. This time my saving is for my wedding ** I can't believe I type this**.
I depart on April 30th, 1 a.m by Air Asia. I swear I will never ride Air Asia to Seoul again. Air Asia is not an option anymore for me. Sitting next to my sister with me being an oversize is like putting me in a box. My leg cramped and my back hurt. If MAS does not has any promotion to ICN, my next option will be Vietnam Airline. If not, travel in Malaysia. The 6 hours and 20 minutes journey was exhausted. Not only that, Immigration took longer than before. I was queuing for almost 2 hours. Arrived guest house and check in then straight to Yoogane for brunch. We got too excited and forgotten about our jet lag. Head back to guest house and baaammmm!! Bye world Hello La La Land!.
We have no itinerary except directions. We have no plans except shopping. I stayed at Namsan 5 and it's not good for me. Namsan 5 located few blocks before Namsan 1. It's still okay at the first hill around Namsan 2. The uphill started at Namsan 4 and after that. Oh my! We shopped daily to prevent extra weight carrying to the guest house. The guest house has new service now such as free pick up service. I asked Junsu regarding it and he gladly drove us to Lotte Mart near the Seoul Station. He picked us up at the time I asked him to. We shopped like crazy of one full trolley. Not as crazy as Singapore trip (2 full trolleys). From rich to poor as fast as that. KRW 200,000 out from our wallet just like that. hahaha... We spent the rest of our time in the room or just roaming around Myeongdong. I bought lots of skin care, make up and foooodddd!!
9D8N for shopping is too long so next time 5D4N is enough. Oh and Seoul got expensive. No more face mask sales 10+10 = KRW 10,000. The cheapest I found was 20pcs KRW 30,000 for good mask. Tony Moly mask I used to bought cost KRW 50,000 for 20pcs. **Not worth it** I bought the normal face mask cost at KRW 20,000 for 20+20 brand HolikaHolika. That's the only worth for money face mask. First day I bought wrinkle pumper from The Saem I quite regret. It cost me KRW 50,000 for one. I thought the sales girl said it cost KRW 50,000 1+1 but noooooo it cost KRW 100,000 for 1 and free 1. I only get snails cleanser for freebies. What happen to showering us with freebies? Quite piss because RM350 burn for wrinkle pumper. I wonder how much will it cost in Malaysia? It is a good product because it helps to reduce my eye bag and my skin moisture around my cheeks. At the end I bought two snails cleanser, one for me and one for my MIL.
Most of the time I search for makeup because I need to make up myself on my E-Day. Looking for the perfect foundation, concealer and eye shadow. Wanted to buy the CLIO Air Wear but bought the wrong one. No sweat because what ever tools or product I'm using I confident with my make up skills. (hehehe) Bought Missha Magic Cushion and it's worth it. It cost me around RM50 while they sell RM160 here in Malaysia. **triple**
Not much going on in Seoul except for fooooddd!! I ate a lot and I gain weight plus belly. I need to drink my Acai Berry back. So bye bye food hello Acai Berry. Working tomorrow so bye bye for now.
* I can't wait for July 1st. He will be home for 10 days*
It has been 34 days since he went to camp. At first, I never thought I will end up like this. Like this like how? Missing him too much, going crazy staying at home or crying over funny video.
That's when I realize I love him so much. Between that 34 days, we even set date to engage. I never thought about engagement or wedding. But him, he able to open my heart on marriage and making me all flutter when he said about getting engage. At first I was skeptical. Been hearing about getting married from his mouth since day 1 I couple with him. This time he said, it's serious. He asked to me to discuss with my mom and so does he too with his mom. 3 days later he called and asked. Well, my mom been joking about it way before he ask me so it doesn't even surprise her anymore. I've set the date! 8 months from now, I'll be someone fiancee. Engagement = $$$$$ = headache
I suddenly thought of writing ~
34 days since he left... I realized where my heart stands
34 days since he left... I realized I have fall in love with him
34 days since he left... I realized what missing is like
34 days since he left... I realized what loves mean
34 days since he left... I realized what true longing is
34 days since he left... I realized why love can makes us go crazy
34 days since he left... I realized I need him more than before
34 days since he left... I agreed to engage with him....
13.03.2016, Sunday - 12.05 pm, it was the last called. I wake up early as he promised to call and update me before he enter. He keep saying 6 months is one short term to me but that word was actually to comfort himself. He called and remind me about how he will be missing me. He also said that all the things the he brought was the one that I shop with him. He put our ring in his wallet so that he will carry it all the time even under the sun. My letter and pictures are all in the bag. Then he said, "Please take care of yourself. Don't ever skip on meal. Take care of Ibu, En. Bear and his laptop. I will return in 6 months. Once I have permission to call, I'd give you a call. Please don't cry. Be strong. Umi gave you an advice to be strong. If you want to be an police officer wife you have to learn to be strong. Dont' worry Umi will tag you in any of my pictures. I love you. And where's my kiss?" that was our last conversation.
**typing this makes me crying but when he said it to me on phone I just smile and nodded**
During the last few days we spend together, we talked about out first met. Reminiscing how it all started, when does this love exists and grow and our like & dislike. What is our plans and future will be like. Promises were made between us and words that we aren't able to say were all said within that night. He even admit on not ready to let me go. He said I was his strength and now to let me go is far from ready. If I collapse so does he, therefore he asked me to be strong and willingly let him go. I asked him where is the guy that was so passionate and eager when he got accepted into the academy. Where is the guy that so happy sharing all the activities that he will be doing in the academy. Where is the guy that so upset when the registering date had to be postponed. I asked him again, where? If you have lost your passionate, eager and happy how am I supposed to let you go. I'm always here and will wait for you. You need to prove it to everyone and it's for our future too. Don't you remember you want me to be proud of you becoming a police officer? I want you to be my man. I promise again on what I said before. I try for our relationship.
I really thank Allah for giving us chances to spend more time together. If the date was not postponed I don't think I will be able to feel this deep love and yearning for him. Because of him, I able to open my heart to move on to the next level in relationship. For that I thank him. The thoughts of me getting married never occur in my mind but now I think I'm ready. Thank you sayang for making me feel really special. Thank you sayang for accepting who I am and what I am. Thank you for loving me like there's no tomorrow. Thank you for pampering me a lot. There is to many to thank and I can't even write it all out.
Sayang, you know how I like to jokes when you ask if I love you or not. You don't know how big this love has grow. I'm afraid to admit that I love you so much. I'm afraid of saying it because I might lose you. I fear of the upcoming hurt and scar that might not even exists. Believing in your words is what I really true wants but I need to realize that the reality might hit me hard. Even when I write this post I'm in tears. Not knowing your well being for the next 6 months is a torture for me. I know I gave you my word that I'll be strong. It's okay to cry right? Hoping everything will go smooth, I wish you all the best. I will wait for you.
16 days. I have 16 days to spent time with him. Will I be able to let him go?
Everyday, every day we meet and spend time together. At first, he was supposed to leave in January but maybe Angel of Love is on our side, the training has been postponed in March.
I know him for 2 weeks before we start couple. Trying out just for fun end up we take it serious. Thanks to the postponed, I got to know him a little..no wait.. a lot better actually. Alhamdulillah, our chemistry is good.
In this almost 3 months relationship, I already fall in love with him deeply. He really open my heart to get married with his plans and what he wants us to be like. So that's when I decided to accept his plans. I still remember he used to say if I can wait for him till he turns 30. Then later, it change to 27 and this time 25. I decided to give a 3 years time frame for me to save up money and for him to built up his career & financial.
Plus Angel of Love is on our side again because his training ends in early that the usual. This is the first time I felt everything went smoothly. I've met his family on the way to Raub and yet his mother already announce to everyone about daughter-in-law. I'm glad that their family accept the fact that I'm older that him (more than 5 years) and his father encourage him to married first. He said his mother been telling people about me. I take it as a blessing to our relationship. I know my side has no problem.
So I have 16 days left to spend time with him. Thankfully that I didn't have to send him at the camp base. It will be disaster I think. Flood, tsunami, storm or all the hazardous will be arrive at the same time. hahahaaa..
I do wonder how will I be in 6 months? How am I? What will I do? Time will answer it all.
